Thinking about fostering – “go for it”, say the Walker family! 

“You can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone” - is an ethos the Walker family in Orkney live by, and which saw them become foster carers to children and young people in the county. 

Rhoda and Mervyn believe anyone who can offer a safe and loving home can become a foster carer – the rest, they say, will follow. 

“It may seem like a cliche, but it is so rewarding to see a bairn smile and watch them settle in and enjoy being part of family life – our family life. They walk in confused and hopefully leave with a spark in their eyes – and there’s no better feeling than that,” Rhoda said. 

The couple were working parents when they decided they wanted to foster care. 

Rhoda explained: “Our kids were grown up and we had empty bedrooms, and we knew there was a need for foster carers. We applied and went through the formalities which naturally must be thorough – and although it took some time it was a relatively straightforward process. 

“It is perceived that there’s a huge amount of bureaucracy - yes, of course there’s checks and paperwork because these are homes where children and young folk will be placed, but perhaps there’s not as much as some may think. Don’t let that put you off – there can be challenges but it is hugely rewarding as much for yourself as the children being fostered. 

“If you have a wish to help or a yearning to try fostering, even if you have just wondered what it would be like – then you should go for it and find out more.” 

The couple fostered 13 children over the course of around three years, ranging in age from one and a half to early teen years. 

Rhoda continued: “There are all sorts of reasons why a bairn may need short or long-term fostering. It may be because a parent has become poorly and there’s no-one else to care for the kids...or the parents may need a weekend of respite from their children who may have complex issues. There are all sorts of reasons. 

“We always found the parents and families of the children we fostered to be amazing – always grateful.” 

Whilst, they did have parental experience that’s not always a must to becoming a foster carer. 

“On top of that, we just used common sense,” Rhoda said. “Yes, there can be issues, but you find ways to work through them – and if one thing doesn't work, you try something else. The social workers were able to explain some complex behaviours to us and why a child may be behaving in a certain way – once you understand this it makes such a difference and then you can work to find something else that may help. There is always that professional back up there. Social workers are there to support you as well as the child and their family. 

“The longest time we had a child was around one year, shortest was just overnight. Every placement we had came to an end naturally – some went back home; some went to alternative placements or longer-term placements. We were always involved in the decision-making and aware of when a placement would be coming to an end – and, of course, you form a bond with them so it can be hard to see them go”.  

Because Rhoda and Mervyn were both working when they fostered, it was important that the children and young people would fit in with their family life and the social workers were able to help with wrap-around childcare if required. 

“We felt that was important, we wanted them to become part of our family, so we didn’t change what we did as a family. What we did do was focus on what they individually needed from us.  

“The most important thing is simply to be able to show empathy to a child that is going through a difficult period in their young life. They need to feel safe and loved – that is the most important things that a foster carer can provide.” 

Whilst the Walker’s own family dynamic has changed in that they now have grandchildren and other family commitments - they would encourage others to give fostering a go. 

Rhoda said: “To watch a child grow in confidence and to know we have given them love, stability and empathy is incredibly rewarding, and we would not change the time spent doing that, knowing we gave those children and young people some happy and fun times.” 

To find out more about fostering head over to www.orkney.gov.uk/fostering