Orkney Islands Council
Working together for a better Orkney

Angela's Story

A local person's experience of bereavement through suicide. 

“I remember feeling like I was sitting in a bubble, watching everyone else’s life going on as normal, but mine as I knew it had stopped.

When someone dies suddenly there are always questions that you need answered, but when they die by suicide there are all the ‘what ifs’ to “What if I hadn’t said that? “, “What if I had only done this or that?” The “what ifs” are dangerous and they can totally rule your life.

When someone makes that choice to end their life we have to respect that. We will not like it or understand it, but it is their choice.

As well as dealing with the death of my loved one, I had the responsibility for the practical and financial issues that were left behind suddenly on my shoulders - and support from family, friends and others were so helpful during that time.”

People who have been bereaved by suicide have additional emotions and questions to deal with and need strength and understanding to do so. People grieve in different ways, there is no right way and no wrong way. I found it very difficult when people who had happily chatted to me the week before suddenly crossed the road or headed into shops. Please just say hello if you can’t manage anything else.”

*Angela’s name has been changed to protect their anonymity.